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Online dating turn-offs and turn-ons

There are a number of classic online dating turn-offs. Equally there are dating turn-ons. In one sense it is different strokes for different folks, BUT ....

Online Dating Turn-Offs

  • Sarcasm - many people use it, most people, especially women, hate it. Big online dating turn-off. Drop it from your communication repertoire.

  • Talking about your 'ex'. Many people - often unconsciously - go one and on and on about their ex spouses, partners or lovers. Don't, its a big online dating turn-off.

    Your new date, or potential date, will soon realise that you are not over the previous relationship and will make a quite duck unless he is an underworked shrink.

    A comment or two is fine, but make it factual, not nasty.
  • Boasting - another of thee big online dating turn-offs. Let people find out about you, don't throw it all at them or exaggerate.

  • Money, money, money. Some people can't stop talking about money - it is time they did! Talking about money, appearing mean is also a non-np.

  • "I don't want to talk about my past". Intriguing? No. Scary? Maybe. What about silly? People want to get to know people. Just don't go on about your ex.

  • Lying. Big no-no. Most people forget the details of the lies they have told. The truth tends to out. Then people are left wondering if any of the parts of your story are true.

  • Not keeping arrangements. Arriving late. Keep your promises. Whether it is a small thing, like the next email, or a promised date.

Online dating turn-offs - advice

Many of the above are actually defense mechanisms. Try and notice when you are using them. Try and curb them. Be yourself ... within limits!

Online dating turn-on

  • Be a good listener, ask questions. Most people like to talk, especially about their ideas. This is also a good test. Do they give you a turn, or do have to squeeze in comments when he/ she takles a breath?

  • Photos. Yes put several photos on your profile. People like to know who they are talking to. No need to look like a beauty queen or a movie star. If you don't they will fear the worst - what you are related to Qualisomo in the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

  • Humour. YES. Sarcasm NO. Yes we know that senses of humour vary. Things you find funny may be unfunny to another. Do you share a sense of humour. Better find out at the beginning.

  • Small gifts - like a single flower. Little gestures. Nothing over the top.

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