How To Ask Women Those 'Sensitive' Questions
I'm finally starting to "get it". It took a long time
(lots of e-mails read, e-book read, cds listened,
and seminar attended), but one night it just clicked,
and i'm now starting to get some e-mail/phone numbers.
And i'm getting the tea dates going.
I had one amazing realization today - whenever i DON'T
get an initial meeting after getting the e-mail, i
don't do what i used to which is get depressed, find
fault in myself, and figure i'll never get anybody.
Now, since i'm working on this next step of getting
the initial meeting, i just see it as a recipe. Maybe
with girl "A" i was too C and not enough F. Maybe
with girl "B" I'm not making her feel comfortable
enough of meeting at my place. I realized that with
practice i'll get the "recipe" right and be able to
turn any e-mail into an initial date. That new mindset
has taken a LONG time to get to and it's mostly due
to your info. Thanks!!
Question: Tonight's first date went really well! I
was "almost too comfortable" and was totally calm
and cool. Poked fun at her, never answered any questions
directly, and i didn't sit around worrying about whether
or not she liked me. and i could almost tangibly feel
the attraction being amplified!!! But i found out
during the date that she's a single mom. Now, i, personally,
don't like to date single moms for various reasons -
not even for a one-night stand. (a lot of guys disagree
and that's cool - this is my own thing). Could you
suggest a way to ask this prior to the first date?
Perhaps it's my own limiting belief, but it seems
that by asking this, i'm implying that i'm looking
at her as possible long-term material.
Thanks a lot and everybody reading this: BUY THE
Well, thanks for the shameless advertising plug...
I really appreciate it.
OK, you've asked a VERY interesting question.
It's interesting not because of the content of the
actual question... but more because of what it SAYS
about you and what you're thinking.
When you say "Can you tell me how to ask a woman if
she has kids before a first date?" it implies that
you think that there's something wrong with just coming
out and asking it.
It's like you're saying "Well, I know that I can't
just ASK her if she has kids... so can you tell me
some cool trick to get her to spill it without me
having to ask?".
Well guess what?
THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's not necessary to use trickery when you want to
know something about a woman.
If you want to know if a woman has kids, then you
need to ASK.
Say "Hey, do you have any kids?".
If she says "Yes", then say "Great. I'm really looking
for a woman who doesn't have any kids, but we can
Let's use a different example.
Let's say you've placed a personal ad online.
Let's say that a cute woman replies.
Let's say that she sends you a picture... but it only
shows her face... and you're only interested in women
who are slim.
Now, you probably would write to me and ask me to
give you some slick way to get her to share how much
she weighs with you without having to ask.
Just email her and say "Hey, how tall are you and
how much do you weigh? I really prefer women who are
slim. Let me know...".
Think about it.
If she IS slim, she'll tell you, and probably be glad
that you were up front with her and direct.
If she ISN'T slim, she'll be glad you told her now
and didn't waste her time.
I think that your problem is probably rooted in insecurity,
and caring too much what other people think of you.
...by the way... it's NOT OK to say "Hey, I really
HATE FAT CHICKS... so tell me now, because if you're
fat I'm going to bail...".
That's not cool.
If you act like an adult and expect others to act
like adults, you'll do well with women.
If you pussy-foot around the issue (a perfect term
for you and this) you'll wind up trying to do things
that waste everyone's time.
If you're up front, direct, and not caring what other
people think of you, then you're going to make women
respond more powerfully.
Oh, and GREAT JOB getting your act together with women.
You're doing very well, keep it up. And feel free
to promote my materials anytime you want in the future.
COMMENT FROM A WOMAN:
I've been reading your email newsletters...not because
I'm a male needing advice, but because I am a FEMALE
who likes to get insight into what men are thinking!
I'll have to say that what you are telling these guys
is right on target.
I have a girlfriend who is a perfect 10, but she has
the worst luck with men. Know why? They are TOO NICE
TO HER!!!!!!!! I was sitting out by the pool with
her this past weekend, and listening to her talk about
the latest guy she's dating. He's cute, attentive,
sweet, thoughtful, generous, funny, and a tiger in
bed!! BUT, she told me that he isn't the "one." I asked
her why, and this is exactly what she said, "He's too
agreeable. Everything I say is OK with him...anything
I want to do, go, or think is OK with him. I'm getting
bored. He doesn't have enough personality for me.
He's always smiling, and my thirteen year old daughter
even says he's a wuss for being so nice all the time.
I want a man who's a challenge."
Now, this woman sees this other guy from time to time,
and she'd drop what she's doing and drive 6 hours
just to spend one night with him! But that guy doesn't
call regularly and he treats her poorly, but she'd
give her first born child to have him!
No, it doesn't make sense, David, but that is the way
a lot of Number 10 women are. And if a guy really
wants a 10, your techniques would work like a charm.
Just warn these guys that 10's are very difficult
women to deal with, and they are used to having every
guy's attention, so they need to keep the game up to
keep her from straying. I wish guys would see that
the 10's, although they are pretty to look at, aren't
always worth the effort. My friends who are 5's would
treat men better, if they could get their attention.
Me? I'm about a 7-8 but I use your techniques on
MEN, and they work quite well. A year ago, I was
dating 4-5 men at time. The one guy that I cared
the least about and brushed off time and again, is
the one I'm dating all the time now! He just hung
in there no matter how many dates I cancelled or even
if I told him I had another date! I even told him I
was dating lots of other men! But, he just hung in
there, and I got tired of the others, and now I only
date him, and we're happy! Oh, I do still give him
a challenge! I am not always available, and I don't
call him often, nor email him all the time, and when
he goes out of town on work, I don't get all jealous
and worry. I don't have to worry. He can't wait to
get back to ME! He cooks for me and treats me like
So...tell those guys this little secret about women.
The 10's love it when you are a challenge, and they
may end up with a 10, but remember that those women
can be the most difficult. Give the lower numbers
a chance sometimes, and they will find a devoted mate!
K in SC
You gotta love honest women.
And you've laid it out for everyone to see.
I wish all men had an older sister like you who could
tell them how it is from an early age...
But, alas, we do not.
I'm going to go read your email again, because it's
Send a picture next time. I promise that I'll NEVER
call you all the time, and I'll NEVER tolerate you
canceling anything on me.
Of course, then you'd fall in love with me, and I'd
have to break your heart.
What a life.
Hi there David
Firstly I would like to say how useful I have found
your Advanced DVD series and DYD book. I used to be
a classic textbook Wussy but that way of life is definitely
going out of the window now!
I have had two emails from two different women recently
(after using your stuff) and I quote them here as I
think all Wussies should read them. The first one is
from a woman who I've known for a number of years and
see her with her friends on the odd occasion:
'Dating should indeed be fun and relaxed but sadly
most of your gender seem to have forgotten this -
were you not taken to one side at school and told
to be arrogant and aloof etc?? I think some of them
might be due for a refresher course as they get far
too serious, far too quickly. It is not to be encouraged!!
XXXX (the name of the guy) is doing pretty well at
the moment though and only sees me a couple of times
a week and never rings and hardly ever emails, so
he has the right idea!! I think I have been quite
vocal about my disdain of other boys recently though,
so he knows not to push it.'
This second reply is from a woman I sent a message
to on an Internet dating site. I based the message
around your advice from your Advanced Dating
'YIPEEEEEEEEE!!!!AN OUT OF THE ORDINARY MAN
Im on 189 mens 'fav' list an i can tell u now, so
far not one of em has made me want to know more!
Can u restore my faith....Hummmmm tall order, u
like a challenge?'
It's definitely worth getting your DVD and book as
I would never have had these responses otherwise.
My question is how do I take things further when meeting
women on line? I have watched your friend on the Advanced
DVD series but don't seem to be able to get the required
results. I have started to get lots of responses from
hot women after sending them a Cocky & Funny message.
We then message each other a few times but suddenly
they stop replying! What am I doing wrong? I try and
use Cocky & Funny but also write 'normal' stuff like
what do they like doing etc which I know can be classed
as Wussy talk. Your views would be gratefully received.
Also can you tell your friend to write that book about
Meeting Women On Line - and put me top of the list to
buy it! Keep up the great work!
Yes, yes, yes...
You're getting it... you're getting it.
But what are you doing writing NORMAL stuff and asking
I can't believe after spending hours and hours and
hours listening to me talk about why it's stupid to
say lame NORMAL stuff that you'd still do it.
STOP THAT IMMEDIATELY... don't make me come down there
and bitch-slap the Wuss out of you.
I'll do it. I will.
And you're surprised that women stop responding to
Here, do this.
From now on:
Now get back in there, stop acting normal, and make
Watch the personals every day. Only send messages
to the NEW ads.
When you get a reply, email and ask her for her
number. Tell her that you're swamped with a million
messages from supermodels who keep bragging about
how much money they have, and she needs to act fast
or you'll be gone.
Get her number as soon as possible, and get her
ON THE PHONE.
DO NOT, under ANY circumstances talk about lame
Watch my Advanced DVD Series again. And don't turn
it off until you're reminded of why you shouldn't say
Write another email to me in a week or so when you're
getting better results.
First of all, thanks again for the valuable newsletters
and the information from your Ebook. I purchased it
a couple months ago and still refer to it quite often.
On to my success story. I was recently at a buddies
bachelor party and the only single guy out of five.
One of our stops was a downtown bar where my friends
wanted to see me go to work. I found a table with
6 blondes talking to two guys. One of the dudes looked
like a cross between Ricky Martin and Eminem and the
other I believe was sporting a Member's Only jacket.
I immediately took advantage of the situation and
swooped in to save the day with C&F on overdrive. I'm
not the kind of guy that women approach so I've learned
that if I want to make something happen, I've got to
grab a hold and go for it. The next thing I know the
two guys got up and left and then the rest of my buddies
came in for support. Married guys make the best "Wingmen".
The best part of the night was getting the number of
the hottest one of their group, something I would have
never done in the past. We spoke on the phone and have
made plans to see each other again. There's a saying.
"If you keep doing what you've always done, you're going
to get what you've always got." I just wanted to say
thanks for allowing me the opportunity to stop settling
and most importantly stop being a wuss. You da man!!
P in Colorado
The reason I love your story so much is because I'm
not the kind of guy that women approach either. I never
But after learning this stuff, I've realized that
it's just not necessary to be that kind of guy.
In fact, most of the guys I know who are the MOST
successful with women aren't particularly good-looking.
Everything changes when you have a superior understanding
of what's going on... and a set of tools to get the
Nice, and keep sending in the stories.
I must say KUDOS to you for creating a new man out
of me. Let me explain myself. I ordered your ebook
a while ago and have been getting your newsletter for
the better part of a year. However, only recently,
I decided enough is enough. I started putting what
I read into action to see what happens. Of course,
it really helps that I'm a well-built muscular tall,
dark and handsome man (LOL). Ain't that what the ladies
are looking for? To clarify in terms of specs, I'm
5'11", of South Indian origin, and I've been a recreational
bodybuilder for going on 14 years now.
The nightclub I like to frequent to dance in has
a lot of gorgeous women, several easily 9's and 10's.
Well, the other night, I approached a girl who was
without a doubt AT LEAST a 10. She was acting very
coy and detached to anybody but the crowd of guys
and girls she was with. Since she was wearing a cabbie-style
hat, I came up to her and said, "Hey, I like your hat."
She smiled and said, "Thanks" but still was kind of
stuck up. So, then, I said, "Let me guess, you're a
taxi-driver." She looked at me with a "there's NO
way you just said that to me" shocked expression on
her face BUT THEN, she instantly warmed up to me and
replied with a BIG smile on her face, "No, I'll bet
you are though." Well, Dave, I'm a doctor and I'm
sure it helped for her to hear that but the rest of
the night, she was rubbing up against me and holding
me tight, even grinding with me on the dance floor. What's
even more surprising is that her boyfriend was part
of the crowd and since I introduced myself to the rest
of the group, he was cool with me hanging with them.
I'm willing to bet that if he had not been there, she
would have tried to kiss me and probably even make out
with me. You are definitely THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE
LEGEND, David DeAngelo. Thank you. Now I apologize
for such a long account but I did want to demonstrate
the scenario carefully if anyone can benefit from it.
My question to you is quite simply this: Why is
it that some women seem totally enamored in person
and act like they want to go out but then never
return your phone calls or initiate calls themselves?
I mean, I can tell that they are not faking their
interest in me and so, what happens once they leave
from my presence?
You mean to tell me that even tall, dark, and handsome
body-builder guys need help too?
It's funny, because most guys don't realize that even
good-looking guys have all the same challenges with
I mean, it certainly doesn't HURT to be a handsome
guy, but women do all the same things, no matter what
a guy looks like.
Back to your question.
Here's the deal, man...
Unfortunately, many attractive women have VERY low
Many (if not most) of the REALLY attractive women
that you see out on the town are really out to get
In other words, they're not looking to meet a good
guy... they're not looking to find someone who will
treat them well... they're not looking for "love".
They're looking to fill an empty part of their self-image.
Attention makes many women feel good.
Some women actually enjoy getting attention from guys,
then acting like they DON'T LIKE IT.
Hey, I never said women made sense.
Have you ever known a woman who wears low-cut blouses,
then complains because guys only look at her breasts
while talking to her?
If a woman complains about something like this to
me, I'll say something like "You know, now that you
mention it... are those REAL?".
Look, here are a few things to remember:
You're on the right track.
A woman will behave differently according to her
MOOD. If she's happy when she's with you, then she
might act like she's enjoying herself. If you call
the next day and she's depressed because she still
has no self-esteem, then she's probably not going to
ATTRACTION is the key. You must realize that if
you dial up the attraction by creating Sexual Tension,
etc. then you'll have a much stronger chance of seeing
Don't chase. When you talk to her again, make sure
you don't communicate that you NEED anything... especially
attention of approval.
Lose the need to have every woman like you. One
big weakness that most men have is a woman who won't
call back. But remember, women are the same way. Read
the email at the beginning of this newsletter from the
attractive women for details.
You always have options. When you know how to meet
women anytime you want, then it doesn't matter what
happens in a particular situation. And if it doesn't
matter, women can SENSE it. This is a VERY attractive
I've been a huge fan for the past 2 years and just
received your Advanced Series CD set a week or so
ago. HOLY COW!!! It's the best money I've EVER spent.
I've gotten more phone numbers, been on more dates
and HAD MORE SEX in the past 7-8 days than I have
in the past 6 months. We're talking 180-degree shifts
in my interactions with women...I'm at 100% success
right now. To all the guys out there, attitude is
EVERYTHING. KNOW that you can have any girl you want,
let that reflect onto girls and they WILL smell your
confidence. And, to women, that's very sexy!!!
Now, onto my question...
How do Cocky-Funny, self-validating, confident men
deal with attention-getting comments from women? For
example, the other day I'm on the telephone with one
of the girls I met recently and she was complaining
about her hair style. She says, "A., I look SOOOOO
ugly with this hair" (she STILL was an absolute
knock out actually!!). Now, I thought to myself, What
Would David Do in this situation? Would he tell her,
"Oh no sweetie, you look gorgeous". I thought that
seemed pretty wussy, so I says to her, "Listen here,
I didn't call you so I could listen to you complain...".
Are cocky-funny remarks the right way to deal with
this type of female complaining? Is it just a test
to see if we'll give in to their little games?
KEEP IT UP DAVID!!!
You are on the RIGHT TRACK here.
Next time a woman complains about herself or tries
to get attention, just make it FAR worse than she
ever thought it could be.
If she says "My hair makes me look soooo ugly"
just reply "You know, I wasn't going to say anything,
Remember, COCKY & FUNNY. It's the combination.
If you really want to be bold, just say "So what am
I going to get paid for babysitting tonight?".
Or even better, say "Did this stuff work on your
dad? Why didn't he spank you more?".
I'm cracking myself up over here.
Nothing better than hitting the nail right on the
head, if you catch my meaning.
Again, you're on the right track.
Don't be a Wussy. But make sure you're funny while
you're not being a Wussy.
"Listen here, I didn't call you so I could hear you
complain..." might do the trick, but it's probably
a little over the "jerk" line...
...unless, of course, it's done with the right tone
of voice that communicates sarcasm.
Let me be the one to tell you that you deserve to
sit on a solid gold throne for the rest of your life
with gorgeous female servants feeding you grapes and
fanning you with giant feathers. Your advanced series
is definitely the best investment I made in my life.
After watching it for the FIRST TIME, my whole perspective
on women changed. I have so much to say, but I'll
try to keep it short: I've been having so much fun
coming up with cocky + funny comments, I had to share
some of my ideas with your readers. Here are some of
my favorite lines I use:
If I happen to get a phone call while Im around
a girl Ive been talking to, Ill bring her up in the
conversation w/ whoever called me, making some teasing
comment about her loud enough for her to hear. She'll
usually give me a face, or flip me off...so then I
say to my friend on the phone, "yea, she likes me."
So simple, yet they eat it up!
I'll tell girls who are walking behind me to stop
following me because Im getting that stalker vibe
from them...and if they want to look at my ass that
bad, they can take a snapshot of it for $4.99...as
long as it's for their personal enjoyment and not to
show off to their friends.
I also like to put a price on my time or presence.
For instance, I'll be talking to a girl for a little
bit, then I'll look down at my watch and say, "Okay,
I talked to you for two minutes, AND I let you shake
my hand...that'll be twenty dollars, tip not included".
Then I'll say that I really have to get going, and
demand their phone number so I can "collect my money
on a more convenient date."
I love this way of communication...it makes girls
attracted to you, and it's so much more fun than the
normal boring stuff. Now, a quick question. First
off, I loved your last Dating Tip...about Sexual Tension.
One of your best emails. But I have a question about
eye contact...do you ever have to watch for when it's
appropriate? An example would be last week when I
was in a club. I was standing, and I turned around
to face a cute girl who I immediately locked eyes with.
She wasn't going anywhere, she was just standing.
But we were only abut a foot away from each other looking
directly into each others eyes. I wasn't even going
to try to talk to her, because it was too noisy.
But I didn't want to just stand there, a foot away
from her face, just staring, 'cause I figured I would
seem like a weirdo...so I just walked past her. What
would you say to do in situations like this? Are
there times when your rule about eye contact (not
looking away until she does) isn't appropriate? Is
proximity to the girl your eye-locked with an issue?
Thanx again Dave... you're the man.
Well, another great question...
And more shameless advertising for my Advanced Series.
What a great combination.
Let's talk about eye contact, and what to do after
you've made it.
Here's the deal, there are a few things that are DEAD
GIVAWAYS to a woman that you're a big-time Wussy, and
not worth her time.
A few of them are:
Can't maintain eye contact
Has slumped, submissive posture
Gives away his power
Looks for attention and approval from others
Of course, there are quite a few more examples of
LITTLE THINGS that women look for... to make QUICK
DECISIONS about what kind of man you are... and INSTANTLY
know whether or not you are worthy of a second thought.
Now, as you've heard me say a million times, these
"decisions" all happen on an UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL.
Women don't look at a man, then say to a friend "Well,
he maintained eye contact when I first looked at him,
then he held his head up high in a dominant posture...
so I'm going to give him a chance".
Duh, no way.
It's an INSTANT FEELING that women get.
They use these little body language cues to instantly
size you up, then respond instantly.
Now, you're asking about a particular facet of eye
contact... specifically, when you're standing one foot
away from her and it happens.
Your question leads me to believe that you think things
must be different if you're close to a woman... as
if the rules should change if she's closer than 4.35234
If anything, it takes MORE composure and inner strength
to look a woman in the eyes if she's standing a foot
In this case it's even MORE important to not look
And what to say?
Try saying "I just couldn't help noticing you...'pause'...
STARING at me..."
Or say "Do you always maintain such strong eye contact?
Or only with guys like me that you can't help it with?"
Try anything. You're in the right place... I mean,
you don't even have to expend the energy to walk over
and start a conversation!
Even "hi" is better than walking away.
Once you get over your remaining fear of the unknown,
and you realize that you're in control of your life
and your results, you'll begin to realize that situations
like these are GREAT opportunities.
...which reminds me of something.
I honestly believe that FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN is one
of the biggest obstacles that guys face with women.
It may sound silly, but most guys who are afraid to
approach women really don't know exactly WHAT they're
All they know is that they have an INSTANT fear come
up whenever they think of walking up to a woman they
don't know and talking to her.
Of course, a "fear of the unknown" sounds like an
easy thing to fix.
I mean, just realize that you don't even know what
you're afraid of, and it should go away, right?
Sounds good, but it's WRONG.
The fact is that this is a COMPLEX problem.
I've met guys who have gone to therapy for YEARS to
get over fears... and it didn't work.
Now, I'm not a therapist or psychologist... but I
do know one thing... I used to have this very same
fear. I know EXACTLY what it feels like.
But the really weird part is that the thing that helped
me get over it wasn't anything that I expected.
What helped me get past it, and helped me to start
approaching women and getting emails and numbers from
women I didn't know was simply UNDERSTANDING what was
going on... and then KNOWING exactly what to do in
The PROBLEM that I had in the past was that I just
didn't "GET IT" with women. I didn't understand what
made them feel ATTRACTION for one guy while feeling
NOTHING or even like RUNNING AWAY from another guy.
Now that I do "get it", I have to say that it's pretty
damn interesting. But it's not at all what I would
In fact, it took me a couple of YEARS of trying to
figure it out to actually BEGIN to really understand
how and why women feel that instant and magical ATTRACTION
response for some guys... while most guys go their
whole lives without women even noticing them.
But once I DID get it, everything changed.
In this Mailbag, quite a few guys wrote in who have
had the same experience this week with my Advanced
They all watched or listened to it, then had a light
bulb come on in their heads.
You can hear it clearly.
Before they spent the 12+ hours going through the
program they didn't "get it".
AFTER they went through the program they DID get it.
A lot of guys write in to say that "It just clicked
all of a sudden" or "I had a huge Ah-Ha! when I went
through the program".
You'll also notice that most of the guys who make
these comments have read this newsletter for quite
awhile as well.
What I'm trying to say is that my Advanced Series
will totally change the way you see things, and it
will totally change your results with women.
It's taken me literally YEARS to figure all of this
stuff out, and I can honestly say that it's nothing
like the other books and programs that are available.
By the way, I've had an amazing response to my "Try
it free" offer, so I'm keeping it available this week
Go order it. I'll send it to you to try at ZERO COST.
If you like it, keep it and you can pay in three easy
payments. If you don't, just send it back and you won't
even be charged.
All the details are here, along with some great free
audio and video samples:
And if you'd like to get an introduction to my best
ideas and techniques, go and download my online eBook
right now. You can download it now and be reading it
within just a few minutes. Get it here:
I'll talk to you again soon.
P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story,
Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
Back To E-Letters
Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs
Tell me what's working for you before you ask
your question. I appreciate all of the "Your
stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how
well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is
that I DO need to hear all of the specifics...
because this helps other guys to see what's
working in different situations.
If you have a Success Story, write "Success
Story" in the subject line of the email. I read
At the end of the email, give me your initials
and tell me where you're from.
Send it to me at: