Don't PAY For A Woman's Attention
I want to talk to you about a topic that is always
on the minds of men...
It's the topic of PAYING FOR THINGS FOR WOMEN.
This includes paying for drinks and dinners, buying
her gifts and taking her out to shows.
The question is: "Should I pay?"
Most guys feel OBLIGATED to pay if they go out with a
woman on a date.
Most guys feel COMPELLED to buy women gifts, flowers,
etc. and "take women out" to "show them a good time".
In fact, the "standard" approach for many guys is
simply asking a woman "Can I take you out sometime?"
Of course, there's ALWAYS more than meets the eye
when it comes to these kinds of issues, and this one
is no exception.
Take a moment and ask yourself this question:
WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON HERE? WHY DO MEN USUALLY BUY
THINGS FOR WOMEN? WHAT'S THE REAL ISSUE?
If you're willing to be completely open and honest
about it, you'll realize that most men:
- Use dinners, flowers, gifts, and other "favors" as
bait and/or payment for women's time and attention.
- Don't feel deep down like an ATTRACTIVE woman
would want to be with them JUST BECAUSE SHE ENJOYED
THEIR COMPANY and felt ATTRACTION for them.
- Have no idea what the ACTUAL affect of trying to
lure women with these kinds of things is.
- <MOST IMPORTANTLY> DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
I can remember when I used to think that I needed to
always take women out, buy them dinner, and pay for
whatever I could think of to get women's attention.
It was really a horrible feeling.
The worst part was that the more nice things I did
for women when I first met them, the more apprehensive
and "standoffish" they seemed to act.
It was almost as if they interpreted my actions as
ME TRYING TOO HARD, and they instinctively played
"hard to get" in response.
The question of "Should I pay for dinner?" is as old
as dirt. So let me answer it with one of my typical
And the first part of my answer is going to be
another question to YOU...
WHY WOULD YOU PAY FOR A WOMAN'S DINNER?
And for that matter, why would you buy gifts and do
favors for a woman that you just met and don't know?
IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMETHING.
And guess what?
Attractive women are VERY perceptive. They can
usually size a guy up in a matter of SECONDS.
She KNOWS what's on your mind. And she's going to
take all the clues you give her to decide how much you
like her... and how much of a WUSS you are as well.
Now I'm going to throw you a real curve ball...
I have friends who are very good with women that take
women to NICE dinners all the time. I'm talking two
hundred PLUS dollars for dinner and drinks ALONE.
I also have friends who almost NEVER take women out
for so much as a cup of coffee... yet they have more
women than they can handle.
Is this possible?
Are the guys who are buying dinner actually SUCCESSFUL
at bribing women with food?
Or do both techniques work?
Well, the interesting thing I've found - after
studying this topic for YEARS - is that most guys who
are REALLY GOOD with women have something in common
in this area.
While some may buy expensive dinners for women, and
some may buy nothing; NONE of them use the idea of
paying for things as "bait" or "bribes" or "obligation"...
In other words, it's the INTENTION behind the actions
that comes through loud and clear.
My friends that take women on dates to beautiful
restaurants would be GOING THERE ANYWAY, and they
just happen to be taking the woman along with them.
Or if they open a bottle of expensive wine, THEY
WOULD HAVE BEEN DRINKING IT THEMSELVES.
I also have to mention here that all of the guys I
know in BOTH camps know how ATTRACTION works, and how
to make women feel attracted to them REGARDLESS of
whether or not they pay for things.
To explain this differently, women INSTANTLY RECOGNIZE
it when they're dealing with a man who feels the need
to "buy her attention", and they usually either play
hard to get, or they just leave.
You can do anything and have it mean anything.
There's a way to say "You're beautiful" and have it
mean "You're not at all attractive", and there's a
way to pay for things and NOT have it say "I'm a
needy Wussy who feels the need to buy you things so
you'll like me".
One of the problems that a lot of guys have is the
real-world issue of money.
It's expensive to take women out all the time.
It's expensive to buy flowers and drinks and gifts.
And if you're single and dating a lot of women, it can
be out of the question to always be paying for things.
Well, the good news is that you don't need to pay for
ANYTHING to be successful with women.
And the other good news is that if you LIKE to do nice
things and go to nice dinners, THERE IS A WAY to do
these things with women and not give off the "I don't
deserve you, so I'll pay you for your attention" vibes.
Think about the following two ways to invite a woman
out to dinner with you:
- "Can I take you out to dinner on Friday night?"
- "I'm thinking of going to dinner on Friday at one
of my favorite restaurants, and you should join me."
What's the difference?
The difference is that the first way IMPLIES that you
are TAKING her to dinner.
The second IMPLIES that you're living your life,
doing your own thing, and being your own person...
and that if she'd like to come along, she's welcome.
The second also doesn't make you sound like a WUSSY.
So what's my personal opinion of this whole topic?
Well, I don't think it's a good idea to start off
with a woman by PAYING for things.
It's much better to allow her to like you and feel
ATTRACTION for you without the distraction and expense.
If you understand how ATTRACTION works, you can trigger
it using your body language and communication. No
Then, if you want to enjoy dinner or a drink at one
of your favorite places, INVITE HER TO JOIN YOU.
Don't ask her if you can "take her out".
This will make a VERY powerful impression. Trust me.
THE FLIP SIDE OF THIS COIN
There is another "dark" side to this whole conversation.
It's the idea that men feel OBLIGATED or INDEBTED to
women when the woman spends time with them, gives
them attention, etc.
If you're out with a beautiful woman who OBVIOUSLY
has many men who pursue her, it's easy to get into
the mindset of "I have to do extra things, buy her
gifts, and go the extra mile to compete with the
Sometimes emotions come up that make you feel like
you want to "show her" how you feel for her early
on... after only knowing her a short while.
OR EVEN WORSE, many guys feel like they OWE A WOMAN
SOMETHING BECAUSE SHE'S GONE OUT WITH THEM AND/OR HAD
SEX WITH THEM. And often, this "something" is either
"dinner and gift payments" or a RELATIONSHIP.
You must realize that EVEN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
IN THE WORLD want MORE than just "payment for their
Attractive women have dinners, money, and gifts
thrown at them CONSTANTLY. You're not going to do
ANYTHING to make her more attracted to you by doing
As you know, I talk a lot about the concept of
ATTRACTION is the powerful sexual emotion that you
feel when you want to be intimately and romantically
involved with someone of the opposite sex.
Men typically feel it when they see a beautiful woman.
WOMEN typically feel it when they're in the presence
of a man who knows how to communicate with that part
of her that triggers her ATTRACTION "mechanism".
Most guys either don't know this, never figure it
out, or don't pay attention to it.
Instead of learning how women work, and doing those
things that will trigger her ATTRACTION, they just
make the same mistakes and beat their heads up against
the same walls over and over.
And they do things like asking women out to dinner,
buying flowers and TRYING TO PAY for attention.
It doesn't have to be this way!
If you're one of the guys who has been paying for
women's attention all your life, then do yourself a
favor right now and STOP IT!
I've put so much time and energy into figuring out
and explaining how to attract women without PAYING
for their attention. Take advantage of it!
If you haven't gotten a copy of my Advanced CD/DVD
Program, then you really need to get it.
For the price of a few dates you can learn secrets
that has taken me YEARS to figure out. And you can
do it all right from the comfort of your own home.
In it, I spend several HOURS going into great detail
and teaching the exact, step-by-step process of
communicating with women in a way that triggers their
SEXUAL ATTRACTION mechanism.
You'll also learn HUNDREDS of specific techniques for
approaching women, getting emails and numbers,
kissing, "getting physical", dating, and everything
else that has to do with success with women... without
having to PAY for anything.
Some great free audio and video samples are here:
And if you'd like an introduction to my main concepts
and to learn the basics of how to be more successful
with women and dating, then go right now and download
my eBook "Double Your Dating". It comes with three
bonus booklets that are INVALUABLE and CRITICAL to
your success with and understanding of women.
I'll talk to you again soon.
P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story,
Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
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