Online Dating Services - Reviews and Guide.
Home.South Africa.International.United States.Adult.
Costs.Advice.Etiquette.Security.Turn-Offs.MatchMakers.
 

Approaching Women - Getting Started

QUESTION

David,

I have read your e-book. I think it's great, but questions
always arise. I have been dating a woman for five
weeks. We've had several wonderful dates. She's a
really sweet girl, and I think there is a lot of potential.
We have spent the night together three times, but
have not yet had full intercourse. I give her oral
sex every time and always bring her to orgasm. When
I told that I wanted to have full intercourse with
her, she told me that she doesn't do that right away.
She said she usually does not get naked with a man,
but did so with me because she likes me. We discussed
our feelings about sex, and I have never pressured her.

I always aim to please her sexually. She is definitely
enjoying what I do for her, and I enjoy doing it for
her. Unfortunately, she hardly touches me or does
anything to satisfy me sexually. How should I interpret
and handle this? I have been considering gently guiding
her hand when she gets to the right location, but I'm
not sure if this is a good approach. I may even talk
to her about it, but I'd rather her advance on me without
my prodding. Should I hold off on giving her oral
sex? My intuition tells me that doing so would not
be very productive. Do you have any suggestions?

E.

MY COMMENTS:

DANGER! You are rapidly approaching the WUSS ZONE!

One thing that you DON'T want to do is TELL A WOMAN
THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER!

Why not? Because you're GIVING AWAY ALL OF YOUR POWER
when you do that.

That's what ALL men want from her... don't make me
come over there and shake you!

You say that you have my eBook. I want you to QUICKLY
open up the bonus booklet that came along with it
called "Sex Secrets". Inside you'll read what to do.

You need to get her turned on more... to the point
where she's ripping your clothes off. Don't just give
her pleasure like Mr. Wussy... that's old. She can
get that anywhere.

You need to be different. You need to build anticipation
and amplify the ATTRACTION. If you don't you're probably
going to find her getting bored of you because you're
so predictable and boring.

Trust me.

QUESTION

Hi Dave, I need your help !!!

My situation is this..... When I go to clubs, I don't
have to much problem going over to a girl that I like,
so it isn't a lack of confidence. But after a short
space of time I find myself struggling to keep the
conversation going and start asking the boring questions
like, Where do you come from ? How long have you lived
there ? Do you drive ?

BORING.......

What the hell do you ask a girl you know nothing about ?

MY COMMENTS:

Yes, you do need my help.

The answer is simple:

STOP TRYING TO KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING.

As soon as you start talking, END the conversation.

Say "It was nice meeting you, I'm going to get back
to my friends..." then turn away. Quickly turn back
and say "Hey! Do you have email?" If she says yes,
pull out a pen and paper and say "Here, write it down...
I'd like to talk to you again."

It's really not that difficult.

The problem in busy, crowded public situations is
that there are WAY too many distractions. You're competing
with music, loud drunk people, or whatever else is
around. It's like trying have a meaningful conversation
at a baseball game.

Instead, get the info, and move on. If you follow
up with a charming email, you'll hear back 50%-80%
of the time (in my experience).

And for GODSAKES... STOP ASKING BORING QUESTIONS!
You're not on a job interview. And neither is she.
Boring, lame, typical questions only position you
as an average dork.

QUESTION

Dave,

Great advice you give, i used to be one of the wussy
guys, being nice and always there for the girls, but
i've been using c&f lately on new girls i meet AND
ones i already knew. it works. Really well. im no
longer the 'nice guy' to them.. im the guy they all
talk about. But i have a problem.. ive learnt the
hard way once... and since moved on....now the problem
has presented itself again :/ here it is...:

I get to know a group of absolute gorgeous chicks.. and
i want them all... so... i bust on them all... nothing
wrong there.. everythings going fine... later down
the track though... they all want a piece of me.....
anything wrong with that? NOT AT ALL!!! first time
this happened i blindly dove in.. hooking up with
all of them.. not all at once unfortunately...one
thing wrong though... they find out about each other
and all of a sudden im the sleave bucket they never
want to see again.... WHAMO! now there were some
hunnies in this group dave, and i wanted more than
just once off's with them.. ALL of them!! but noooo...
im the bad guy now. ( i can see their point really
but come on) NOW, being the Jedi Master... i know you
have the answer to my problem as the situation has
popped up again with a new group... im seeing one at
the moment but her friends are to hot to leave alone...
i use c&f on them and they love it but i see where
this is going.. the same way as it did before.....
am i writing to much here?? anyway.. back to the point.....
How can i avoid the same thing happening? im sure
you can see my situation... is there a way of having....
can i say sex on here? or shall i say shag.. ill say
shag.... how can i shag them all with out them getting
bitchy about me sleeping with the others too?? now
don't go accusing me dave of being greedy... i know
you'd have been in this situation before. i need your
wisdom and quick!!

Thanks again man, you've helped me ten fold.

JF.

AUST.

P.S. im not re-reading this to see if it makes sense..
ill leave that up to you heheheh.

MY COMMENTS:

Yea, my heart really goes out to you. I'm feelin'
ya. It must be tough.

I'm going to have to make an educated guess on this
one.

I'll bet that it's not the fact that you're sleeping
with all of them that's the MAIN problem... it's probably
that you didn't make it clear up front what was going
on.

They probably feel like you were trying to HIDE the
fact and they CAUGHT YOU sneaking around on all of
them...

When, in fact it doesn't sound like that's what you
were trying to do.

Remember, perception is more important to most people
than reality. And if a woman perceives that you're
trying to deceive her, she'll shut you down.

I'd recommend that you figure out how to make sure
that all of the women you're seeing know that you're
at least seeing other women that they know.

You don't have to get into specifics, but if you want
to prevent the "you're a sneaky bastard" problem,
then you might want to diffuse the situation before
it BECOMES a situation.

Women will accept you for whatever you are... but
they don't like it if they suspect that you're trying
to pull the wool over their eyes.

SUCCESS STORY

David,

How are you man? I bought your book and I really like
what you're doing. I've found your research to be
right on point! Anyways, I have some notes from the
field for you and your readers. This is a perfect
example of the "unaffected and crassness towards a
beautiful chick" behaviour you wrote of in your book. I
was at a local club the other night and I found a
place at the bar where I noticed a lot of girls were
going to get served. So I and my friends went right
to that spot and I just sort of planted myself against
the bar in a slouching yet confident kind of way. Just
playing cool and unaffected by any beautiful chick going
past but still making eye contact with them. Well,
inevitably a beautiful chick and her friends slides up to
my left. I of course look over my shoulder at her
and tell her my drink preference. She said something
about how "I should be buying her a drink", and I said
"yeah that'll happen" very sarcastically. So the
dialogue went on and of course I was wearing out the
whole cocky & funny thing and busting on her, it was
working like a charm of course. I even at one point
was asked buy her friend to pass a napkin and I did
that little, she reached for it and I pulled it away
bit several times, which although very basic was cracking
her up. Needless to say, this hottie that i had initiated
conversation with was all about rubbing her titties all
over my side that was open to her, my back! I thought
of the most cocky thing I could say that was subtley
sexual and as she was rubbing those nice titties of
hers all over me, i looked her in the eyes and said,
"you really need to stop doing that!" Well, she looked
at me is such disbelief that it seemed no man has ever
even slightly suggested that she not rub her tits on
him. Which obviously has in fact never happened. Needless
to say she was eyeing me all night but I had to move
on to another hottie, from Sweden, and later in the
night I saw her dragging around by hand some big chump
that she probably just met but when she walked past
me with her "boytoy" those eyes of hers were shouting
"f--k me, please!"

Well that's it for the story keep up the "good struggle",
Adam "el cholo"

P.S. (do you think that your research is just as valid
for use in Latin American countries such as Mexico?)

MY COMMENTS:

To answer your last question first, I get emails from
guys all over the world who are using these techniques...
so my guess is that they're fairly universal. I'm
sure that there's a culture somewhere that isn't friendly
to it, but I haven't heard about it yet.

And as for your story... I LOVE IT!

It's a true Jedi level maneuver to bust on a woman
for doing something that any other man would pay money
to have done.

It's confusing, and, when done right, MAGICAL.

Keep up the great work. You should have 10 female
stalkers in no time at all.

SUCCESS STORY

Dear David,

You are the man. I just want to share a little success
story with you. I've been practicing the cocky and
funny routine online and I must say it works like
magic. I talked to this one girl for only an hour,
I kept up the cocky and funny routine the whole time,
she asked for my number and called me 10 minutes later.
We arranged a meeting and it went great. I stayed in
character all night and even got her to come back to
my place. We had a very passionate and heated little
session (no sex but damn close). I can barely remember
the last time I even kissed a girl, but now I think
I'm starting to understand what I was doing wrong for
such a long time. You are absolutely right when you
say that it is the CHARACTER and not the material that
attracts women. This girl couldn't get enough. I teased
her all night and never let up.

Unfortunately I must have turned into a WUSSY
boy at some point between the hot and heavy session
at my place and when I dropped her off. I'm not really
sure what happened. I'm thinking maybe I screwed
up by calling her the next day. She was screening
her calls obviously and never called me back. I waited
a week and tried again with a well thought out message.
I thought it was a good message but now that I think
about it, it was cocky but NOT funny. I wasn't feeling
the character. She messed up my self-esteem and it
was probably obvious in the message. But I'm over it
and now I say FORGET HER, move on to the next one.
That's the only way to get better, is by learning from
our mistakes and making a game out of it. Because
that is all it is to them , A GAME. We just have
to know how to play.

Thanks David. YOU RULE.

C.

MY COMMENTS:

You're OK... you're doing fine. And let me echo a
comment that you made (which came from me, of course),
because it's SOOO important:

"...now I think I'm starting to understand what I
was doing wrong for such a long time. You are absolutely
right when you say that it is the CHARACTER and not
the material that attracts women..."

You MUST get into the right CHARACTER in order to
make this whole male-female-ATTRACTION thing work.
You need to play the ROLE correctly.

In fact, if the CHARACTER is right, you can actually
screw up a lot of the specific technical things (calling
too soon, saying Wuss-Bag things, etc.) and still
have great success.

But if the character is WRONG, then you're going to
have a very hard time making things work... even if
you are using ALL of the techniques correctly.

Thanks for your email, that's such an important point.

QUESTION

HER: "If you think I'm going to sleep with you, after
you've spent the last couple of hours teasing and
taking the mickey, think again!"

ME: No answer, just a slight smile... (Six months
ago, SuperWuss would've said "But honey, please...
I was only kidding!")

One hour later, in bed:
HER: "I don't want to just be another one in your
harem, you know!"
ME: No answer, just another slight smile, and a kiss
on the neck. (Six months ago, SuperWuss would've
said "But honey, you know I really really respect
you and love you....")

Five minutes later, her legs are locked around my
waist:-)

You know Dave, I'm in an incredibly funny space right
now: I am CONSTANTLY saying to myself "Jeez... Did
I just get away with saying/doing THAT???" LOL I'm
having the time of my life, and it's all thanks to
you. I'd like to meet you in person one day, and shake
your hand!

Anyway, my question: Every guy's been in this situation,
you're walking out somewhere with a beautiful girl,
and some other guy (or guys) makes a whistle or 'Hey
baby' comment to your girl... What's a good C+F response
to this? What I'm concerned about is using the situation
to make the girl MORE attracted to ME, rather than
putting down the guy. Part of me wants to tell the
guy to butt out and mind his own business/get his
own girl etc. but I'm aware that not only will this
possibly make me look like an insecure, jealous asshole,
but could also get me into a potentially dangerous
situation that would ruin the good evening I have
planned. On the other hand, I worry that no response
at all may look like I'm a mouse not a man! I thought
about saying to my girl "Damn! I wish these gays would
just leave me alone!", making out it was ME the guy
was hitting on, but I'm not sure if I want to put
the idea I'm gay into her mind LOL. What do you think?

regards,

R London UK

MY COMMENTS:

GREAT question.

Well, remember, every situation is an opportunity
to INCREASE THE ATTRACTION.

These are great opportunities to position yourself
in her mind in a way that sets you apart from all
other guys.

What would most guys do in this situation?

  1. Get insecure and jealous.
  2. Start a fight.
  3. Pull the woman closer.
  4. Act intimidated.

Your idea is great... making a joke out of it by suggesting
that the guy is trying to pick you up.

Another idea is to just keep walking without even
paying notice to it, then a moment later commenting
"Don't you just love the way typical guys act? Classy,
isn't it?"

This, in effect, lumps other guys into a group and
sets you apart from it.

By not reacting at all to other men's advances, you
also show that you're not easily upset.

I think that if you let things upset you, that you
open yourself to manipulative behaviors that involve
getting you upset.

Much better to smile and not let things get to you...
because the irony of it is that if you let things
get to you, they will.

COMMENT FROM A WOMAN

I am a lady and read your spam for the fun of it.
Boy are you all wet and not dry behind the ears yet
when it comes to knowing how to attract a lady. I
suppose you do all right attracting the ugly ducklings
that want to be your door mat.

Making fun of the way a lady is not attractive, it
just shows what a rude jerk you really are and have
no manners. Faking being busy on the phone is one
of the oldest tricks in the book and all women are
wise to it. If you were truly busy, you would not
have called in the first place and women know this.
Waiting a certain length of time to call is just
ignorance. Out of sight, out of mind is the way most
women think about men, when you snooze, you loose.

Darlin, get real... head games are a definate no no,
honesty is in, or has it been so long since you have
attracted a lady instead of a door mat you don't know
this. Women have more brains than men and all women
know we are sitting on the world men are trying to
win, so being rude and making a real pain in the butt
out of yourself may get you a door mat but never a
lady.

Keep your nonsense flowing, us women get a real good
laugh from your advice on how to score. The old saying
sure holds true with your writing," Those who can do,
those who can't write a book on how to". haha!

MY COMMENTS:

Well I guess you told me!

Here's what I heard you say (my interpretations, of
course):

  1. Waiting to call a woman back is a bad idea, and
    if you don't call her immediately then she'll forget
    you and not want to ever see you again.
  2. Women are smarter than men.
  3. Women are "sitting on the world men are trying
    to win", which I'm assuming means what you have between
    your legs.
  4. That you believe I promote "being rude" and "faking
    being busy".

OK, where do I start?

I don't know, but I have sneakin' suspicion that you
share the CRACK PIPE with the STONED woman from last
week. Don't tell me that you're a base-head too?

Well, I guess you asked for it, with your off-the-handle
emotional rant... so here goes. (Can you believe that
I get to have this much fun... and call it work?)

So you think that waiting to call a woman back is
a bad idea, huh?

And you think that if you don't call her back immediately
that she'll have forgotten you... and just not be
interested.

This is an interesting line of thinking.

If you're high.

Look, it's soooo commonly known that it's not a good
idea to call a woman the moment after you've met her
that even guys who have never seen the movie SWINGERS
know not to do it!

Yea, I see. I think that from now on, I'll just ask
women for their cel phone numbers, then call them
right after I walk away. I can say "Hi... it's me!
Look over your left shoulder! Here I am! [Waving my
arms around]"

That would be cool.

I'd make fun of this idea more, but I have a minimum
of three more incredibly stupid ideas of yours to
bust on...

So you think that women are smarter than men, huh?
Your exact comment was "Women have more brains than
men". You know, this is genius level thinking. It's
probably because you're smarter than me that you actually
know this.

I'll bet, though, that because you've smoked so much
CRACK that you've killed enough brain cells to make
us at least EQUALLY "brainy". Just a hunch.

I think you took a step down the wrong path with this
comment.

And then you started RUNNING FULL SPEED down that same wrong path with:

"...all women know we are sitting on the world men are
trying to win..."

Do me a favor... next time you send me an email like
this, send me your address so I can PAY YOU for your
contribution. I wish I could come up with stuff like
this myself.

I see that you've written me an email, so you must
have access to a computer (just a guess). But it seems
to me that you must be pretty new to the internet,
because you obviously haven't figured out that any
man can get online and within 30 seconds be looking
at beautiful naked women for free.

And if they really have a mind to not have to listen
to your mouth AND AT THE SAME TIME "win" the "world"
that women like yourself are sitting on, ALL THEY
HAVE TO DO IS FLY TO VEGAS AND GET A CAB OUT TO THE
CHICKEN RANCH!

This is 2005! It's not the dark ages.

I feel like I can speak for most of the guys on this
newsletter when I say that we would like to meet women
who are emotionally stable, friendly, happy, financially
together, etc. (I don't expect you to be able to identify
with this description... don't worry about it.)

It's not our desire to just "win what you're sitting
on".

We don't have to anymore. We improve ourselves in
this area because we WANT TO. We're not interested
in playing "Hi there Miss, will you please give me
some attention and some of what you're sitting on?"

And finally, to address your comment that implies
that I teach men to be rude and to fake things...

You're missing the boat entirely. It's like a joke,
you either get it or you don't. And you don't.

Remember, send your address next time! And also try
the spelling and grammar check in your word processor,
because you write like an emotionally unstable middle-schooler.

SUCCESS STORY

Hey,

I have been reading your news letters for awhile
now and decided that I would give it a shot, I got
a few one night stands and then met this girl that
I felt really strong for and went ahead and used what
I had learned cocky and funny, it worked, since I
wanted her to be a long term relationship I also added
in some nice, sweet, subtle compliments in along the
way and it worked we have now been together for about
a month and a half. All that stuff that you said
taught me was fantastic for one night stands and even
long term.

Those people that say it doesn't work are either:

  1. Too much of a wuss to try it or
  2. have tried it once and only once and probably messed
    it up along the way got shot down and are to much of
    a wuss to get back up and try it agian. Right on for
    your advice and keep it coming, you never know when
    it might come in handy.

R.J.

MY COMMENTS:

Yes, I'm going to comment on the "R" word... relationships.

If you attract a woman using these techniques, then
you must remember to KEEP IT FUN AND INTERESTING for
her as you move into a relationship.

You've got the formula right... slowly start doing
more "relationship" type things, subtly complimenting
her, etc.

Too many guys switch from being charming, challenging,
and interesting to being full-on WUSSIES when it comes
time to do the relationship thing... which, of course,
drives the woman away.

You must remember that when a woman feels ATTRACTION
for you, she's feeling it for a REASON. Make sure you
keep that reason going into the future!

COMMENT

Cocky and funny is absolutely the best technique
for getting women, but there is still more to it.
Keeping your composure is also very important. If
for any reason you say... trip and fall... then don't
overreact! Every human on the face of the planet makes
mistakes similar to that, and you make it a lot worse
by blowing it out of proportion by freaking out in
crazy embarrassed way. Just get back up, laugh a little
and say a little "oops" or something then go on like
nothing happened. Act like you aren't fazed when you
screw up around girls. It gives an overwhelming sense
to the girls that you are one confident badass.

Confidence is beyond important. You cannot show
fear of anything. People have got to look at the
world as their own playground, where everybody else
is just their string puppets for them to control to
get what they want. You've got to emit the sense to
whatever girl you are trying to hook up with that
you think anything is possible. There is no fear,
and thus there is only supreme confidence. Supreme
confidence will bring you supreme women.

MY COMMENTS:

Ah, one of my favorite topics: COMPOSURE.

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of composure
lately.

Composure if vital because we humans tend to read
very subtle cues from others, then make large judgments
about them as people.

For instance, if you're the type that let's little
things bother you, then you're probably going to be
thought of as not-exactly-masculine.

For instance, let's say that you're out with a girl
for coffee, and you come out to find a parking ticket
on your car. Some guys I know wouldn't even think
about it... they'd just get upset. They'd start whining,
ranting and raving... and throwing a tantrum... with
no regard for what the woman is thinking of them.

On the other hand, I know guys who would causally
pick up the ticket, make a funny comment, and not
even miss a beat.

What's the difference?

The guy who keeps his composure at all times is FAR
more attractive than the one who doesn't.

Another place that composure plays an important part
is when women TEST men. If a woman starts trying to
push your buttons, becomes demanding, or starts being
dramatic about something, you need to KEEP YOUR COOL.

In fact, some of the guys I know who are THE MOST
successful with women actually don't even respond
AT ALL to drama or tests from women.

They just continue what they were doing.

Oh the other hand, I know some guys who let this
kind of thing take them off balance and upset them
(I used to be one of those guys).

If you let things like this upset you, or even get
to you a little bit, it's going to be obvious that
you can't control your emotions, and it will make
you less attractive all the way around.

Keep your composure. Keep your composure. Keep your
composure.

QUESTION FROM A WOMAN

Hey Dave,

I'm a female reader, but I still love receiving your
newsletter. I know where you're coming from with a
lot of the information you explain to the readers.
I have plenty of guyfriends and I am definitely attracted
to those jerky kinda guys. Your newsletter can apply
to the ways women can get pick up men too.. I mean,
a lot of times, its about the approach and confidence
level, so it works for some women. Sometimes things
you write make me laugh because they're right on the
money and other times I'm like "DAMN so that's what
the guy was trying to do". It's enjoyable seeing the
techniques that guys use and their point of views.
Do you think there are any other newsletters like
this out there.. but for gals like myself? Keep up
the great work!

-c

MY COMMENTS:

Did I mention that I love honest women? Another letter
that speaks for itself... thank you!

QUESTION

Dear Doctor David,

Please come round here and kill me I am so pathetic.
Ive read your book twice now and should be putting
some of it to good use. But it seems that I am completely
inept at doing so. Ive just been talking to this fine
young lady at the gym. (By the way Ive been out of
circulation for quite some time now since my divorce
and I'm way out of practice) Anyway I was just talking
to her and all of a sudden I started to go into wuss
mode I even forgot here name as soon as she told me
so i asked here it again, so pathetic! I also hung
around for a little bit to long plus I never asked
for her email.

Now I would really like to get to know this girl take
her out on a date etc. But I'm really sure that I've
blown my chances. Although she seemed interested mostly
apart from the forgeting her name part Next time I
see her I really want to recover the situation and
act properly, maybe I should pretend to forget her
name again make a joke of it. what do you think.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

By the way your last news letter was awesome, very
informative, I just hope that I can put it to some
good use and become a "Jedi Master!"

Best regards

AM

Lancaster, England.

MY COMMENTS:

Hey, you're doing fine.

Every one of us is in a different place in life, and
you're going to get this figured out.

The more you deal with attractive women, the more
relaxed you'll NATURALLY become, and the more easily
you'll remember to do the things you need to do in
these situations.

Next time you see this woman, just go about your business
and see if she starts talking to you. If not, no big
deal.

The second time you see her at the gym, then talk
to her. At that point, casually say "Hey, do you have
email?" Then get it and LEAVE IMMEDIATELY... have
somewhere you're going... don't linger.

Send her a charming email, and meet her for tea. You're
doing great.

And by the way, stop calling me Doctor. Everyone's
going to start thinking that I'm smart or something.

Hey, maybe I should get one of those Internet PhD's,
huh?

"Huh Huh, Hey Beavith... huh huh... that would be
kewl."

QUESTION

HI David, you are THE MAN!!!

I am in recovery of what you may call "success-with-women"
coma, I was on life support until I found your website,
then EVERYTHING changed!!!! I have managed to go out
with girls that are 8's or 9's in my scale, thing
which I haven't done in almost 5 years (after breaking
up with my cheating girlfriend). Anyway, we went out
with some friends to dinner on saturday and one of
our girl-friends went with this blonde that was an
9.5-10. So one of my friends started hitting on her
(according to most girls he is very good looking) and
she was paying attention to him.... at first! I started
with my cocky & funny routine and she was all over
me!! To make things short I walked home with her email,
home and cell phone number and my friend ended up
with... NOTHING. I wouldn't have been able to do that
in other time. THANKS!!!!

Now my question. There's this girl at the gym I go
to, we have been flirting, and I haven't talked to
her, yet. I can't come up with really good cocky and
funny lines, any suggestions?

Thanks again!!!

AMFdP

MY COMMENTS:

Yea, you'd better hurry up, because the guy in the
last email I commented on is probably at the gym picking
her up right now!

And the funny thing is that I'm going to give you
the same advice. In these kinds of situations, it's
best to get the email address, then send an email the
next day. Start a dialogue, then get her on the phone
and meet her for coffee. It's simple.

Whenever you're in doubt, just remember to take one
small step... don't make a big deal. All you need to
do is get an email and number... then take the next
step... and the next... and the rest will take care
of itself.

COMMENT

G'day,

You said: "You know, I'm really tired of you women
treating me like some kind of piece of meat. I have
feelings too, and I don't just like being thought
of as a sex object."

When she gets over that, why not follow up with: "I
bet you'd kill for my waist too."

It doesn't matter if she's really slim or not. The
formula is magic and it gets easier the more you use
it.

From J in Melbourne

MY COMMENTS:

You know, that's a great follow up.

Funny, but a friend of mine in Australia came up with
that original Cocky and Funny approach of "I'm not
just a sex object... I have feelings too" and it's
not surprising to me that someone else from down under
would come up with a great add-on to it.

Nice!

Turning the sexual stereotype roles around, then having
fun with them is a GREAT way to keep conversations
going, and a great way to have fun.

QUESTION

OK, I'll keep this short and sweet. I used to
SUCK at getting girls and was terrified of rejection
and talking to strange girls in public. Bought your
book, and changed my whole approach to women. I was
in future shop and this sales-girl dropped this palm
screen-cover that I was going to buy between two glass
display cases. So I immediately starting busting on
her with a serious face how she did it on purpose,
just because it was the only one they had in the store.
Anyhow when I was leaving, I told her the least she
could do was to give me her number. She laughed and
did, and I called her the next day. She said she had
to go and was busy, so I told her I bought another
screen-cover at her competition store, to keep up the
Cocky & Funny. I called back 2 more times and each
time she was busy. This has happened a few times when
I have called girls after getting their number. Sometimes
I wait a few days after getting a girl's number, so
I don't appear desperate; but this doesn't seem to
have it's desired effect. But I am obviously doing
something wrong because once I get the number, it usually
ends there. When is it best to call a girl after getting
her number, and what's the secret to success to meet
quickly for your half-hour cup of tea plan after getting
a girl's number?

MY COMMENTS:

I have just one word for you:

EMAIL.

Get the email.

You'll get probably twice as many emails returned
the first time as you will phone calls.

And with email, you can follow up if she doesn't
email you back.

#2 can say:

"What, playing hard to get so soon? Talk to me."

...and it doesn't come off as needy.

If you CALL and say that, it does come off as needy.

Don't ask me why, but it seems that email has all kinds
of great benefits that the phone doesn't.

Start the dialogue with email, then switch to a short
phone call to set up the first meeting... then move
to meeting in person. Works much better.

SUCCESS STORY

Hey Dave,

Your stuff is amazing. Check out this success story.
I was at a coffee shop with some friends. I was sitting
at a table all by myself right next to my friends,
because there wasn't enough room for all of us to
sit at the same table. I had two empty chairs at my
table. This hottie comes in with two of her female
friends. As she was ordering her coffee, we make
eye contact, and after four to five seconds I look
at my watch. She does the same thing. I know she was
checking me out. She comes and sits at the table in
front of me. There were only two chairs at her table.
She walks up to me and says:

Can I borrow a chair. I said : Sure. I know. Wussy.
But it gets better. She takes the chair and sits but
her back is facing me. So I tell her: "Excuse me I
was nice enough to let you borrow my chair and all
of a sudden you turn your back on me. " Oh I 'm sorry,
well where do you want me to sit" She says. So I say
" why don't you tell your two friends to push a little
bit and you sit there, therefore you don't have your
back turned on me and you can see my pretty face. She
starts laughing as she's moving over. So I accused her.
"Are you laughing in my face. My face is not to be
laughed at, it is to be admired." She comes and sits
at my table, where there was the other chair

HER: Sorry but I wasn't laughing in your face
ME: Yes you were.
HER: I am sorry then. My name is Lisa
ME: I am glad you told me but it's too late for first
impressions. Look at you, right now you have your
back turned on your friends. This is very disrespectful.
HER: Oh come on stop it.
ME: Stop what, this is reality
HER: Well where do you want me to sit
ME: You can come and sit next to me, my back is facing
the window. (she actually came and sat next to me.
She asked me for a light)

HER: Can I borrow your lighter
ME: Well it all depends
HER: It depends on what
ME: On whether you want to light up your cigarette,
or you want to light up a fire in this coffee shop.
(she starts laughing, so I kept on going), because
if it's the second one then forget it, I have my
fingerprints on this lighter and I will be accused
for your actions. (she continues to laugh)
HER: No I want to light up my cigarette.
ME: Well now that we have established that fact, what
do I get in return.
HER: In return for what
ME: Well listen, I let you borrow my chair and i didn't
say anything, but my lighter is pushing it. So I
want to get something in return.
HER: A hug
ME: You can do better than that
HER: OK a kiss
ME: I tell you what. you give me a hug for letting
you borrow my chair and a kiss for my lighter.
HER: Wo. You're pushing it
ME: Fine no lighter. And I will go and get my chair
back. ( As I get up she stops me)
HER: Ok fine. ( So i got the kiss and the hug, This
routine is amazing)
HER: I like your watch

ME: Thanks. This watch has a battery that has 100
years guarantee. I will be dead and the watch
will still be working. ( she starts laughing).
ME: You want to try it on
HER: Ya sure ( she wears it)
ME: Naa, it doesn't look good on you. I, on the other
hand, make it look good. (And I grabbed it out
of her wrist)

After some small talk I got her e-mail and phone number.
We have been out a couple of times but I play everything
according to your book. I end all conversations and
phone calls. I have here call me and say that I am
busy. i have established that I want to be just friends.
I still accuse her for having her back turned on people
so therefore she always sits next to me because I always
sit by the window. Thanks for all the advice. Pure
genius.

MY COMMENTS:

What a great example of how to interact with a woman...
so you both have fun, and she experiences a wonderful,
challenging experience which only amplifies her attraction.

Very nice.

SUCCESS STORY

Dave,

You are indeed the man! I have been running around
in the dark but thanks to your book the light has
finally come on, and I realize that my wires have
been crossed. In the past when I would meet an attractive
woman I would do the old "roll over and play wuss"
and she would just want to be friends. And the girls
that I only wanted to be friends with I would be all
C&F with and they would be calling all the time, telling
me how funny I am and how I have Charisma (and I do).
But I just couldn't see what I was doing wrong.

Now after reading your book it all makes perfect
sense to me. Now I treat 10's like they are 2's (still
giving up human respect, no one likes a "true" a##hole!)
But just because they won the "genetic lotto" doesn't
mean I or any other man should feel the need to kiss
their ass. Now I just treat them like they were one
of my friends and let them know that until they show
me why I should "lower my standards"(ha..ha) that's
all they will ever be. And dude... it drives them nuts.
And the few that throw a little "tiff" I just tell them
I'm not their "boyfriend" so they better have their
fit on someone else's time.

Thanks again,

D.

MY COMMENTS:

Nothing else really needs to be said. Preach it.

Let me ask YOU a question... are you at a point in
your life where it's time to start learning about
how the whole concept of "women and dating" works
better?

Have you been walking around trying to make sense
out of why women are attracted to some men, but not
attracted to others?

Have you seen average-looking guys or guy friends who
seem to be able to attract beautiful women... even
though they didn't have looks, fame, or money?

Well, if you'd like to get a behind-the-scenes look
into the minds of women, and you'd like to learn the
techniques for attracting women and creating ATTRACTION
that it's taken me literally YEARS to figure out,
then I'd recommend you go and check out my Advanced
Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.

Inside I'll give you the codes to the locked safe
of the female mind. You'll learn the REAL story behind
why women are attracted to some men, and not to others...

You can check out some great free audio and video
cuts from it here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e/
10000/AdvancedSeries/

And if you haven't downloaded your copy of my online
eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to go and
do that RIGHT NOW. You can download it and be reading
it in just a few minutes... it's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e/10000/eBook/

I'll talk to you again in a few days.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:

  1. Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
  2. Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations.
  3. If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first.
  4. At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from.
  5. Send it to me at:
    SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com

Back To E-Letters


Home.South Africa.International.United States.Adult.
Costs.Advice.Etiquette.Security.Turn-Offs.MatchMakers.